Carry a cell phone. If you feel uncomfortable walking alone, either call a friend or family member or pretend to call them. Walk purposefully and speak in a clear voice, saying something like “Could you unlock the door for me? I’ll be home in 3 minutes, it’s just one more block” or say which street intersection you are at. Potential attackers may be discouraged by knowing that someone is awaiting your arrival, is close by, and would come to check on you if you did not appear within the next few minutes.
The phone is also helpful for dialing emergency numbers in case you are attacked. Have emergency numbers on speed dial so that you can dial quickly, and if you are traveling in a different city/state/country, be sure that you have emergency numbers (e.g.: police, hospital, etc.) in your cell phone, as well as the number for several taxi services.
If you get a bad feeling about a person, party, and/or location, either leave immediately or find a friend. Don’t hesitate.
If walking down a sidewalk, walk next to the street, not next to the buildings, where people can be hiding in doorways, alleyways, etc.
If you are walking alone at night or in unsafe areas, avoid listening to music. You will be distracted by the music, making you an easier target because you are less aware of your surroundings and also may not hear the rapist approach. You also look like a better target.
If you do listen to music while walking, however, keep the volume low. Music at a high volume, especially if you’re wearing over-the-ear headphones, virtually eliminates background noise; you may not be aware of anyone following you.
If you will be walking in an unsafe area or in the dark, wear tennis shoes or bring a pair with you. Stilettos or other heeled shoes make you sound like a walking target and could even draw potential attackers from blocks away. Sandals are usually better than heels, but they are flimsy and could prevent you from running as fast as you can and could even fall off.
If all else fails and you are being followed by someone/attacked by someone, scream. Don’t be afraid to scream because you will feel silly; in some countries we have been socialized to “not make a scene.” If this is rape/potential rape, make the biggest scene you can.
Loudly scream, “Help!” or “Fire!”. Do not yell out, “Rape!” or “I’m being attacked!”. The reason behind this is called the bystander effect, which is a social psychological phenomenon in which bystanders are aware and witnessing an emergency situation but don’t offer help. During a rape, bystanders may not help for fear of getting attacked themselves.
If you want to and the rapist is not armed and he forces oral sex on you, bite HARD. If biting fails, always remember, “Grab, Twist, and Pull.” This meaning the testicles. It may sound silly now, but it may save your life.
Don’t panic because this will just make you easy prey.
If they try to, shout ‘dad’ or a masculine male name in a purposeful direction.
Rape is a horrible thing to experience. Once it happens to you, you don’t want to tell anyone, because you are afraid. Or you think people will think less of you after you tell them. While these attacks are not the fault of the victim, you can take some precautionary measures to keep yourself safe.
Trust your instincts. Don’t underestimate your own judgment. If you feel uncomfortable in someone’s company, avoid being secluded with them and be firm if coercion is attempted. Attackers will more often prey on people who look vulnerable and seem easily manipulated.
Bring a friend if you are going to a party or other event in a strange place. If you can’t bring someone you know, give a friend your phone number and expected time you’ll be home, and tell him or her that you’ll check in.
Keep an eye on your drink. Date rapists can lace drinks with flavorless chemicals. Don’t go back to a drink if you’ve left it unattended, and don’t accept an open drink from a stranger (unless you saw it made at the bar or similar).
Walk with a friend if possible, especially if you’re walking at night or in a remote location. If you’re going on a jog, bring a companion.
Stay alert by avoiding headphones (which impair your ability to hear ambient sounds), or hats that block your peripheral vision. Be aware of people in the area, ahead and behind you.
Stick to populated, well-lit areas if you need to walk alone. Avoid poorly lit areas, or areas with minimal escape routes.
Carry pepper spray or a similar item for emergency self-defense.
Learn basic self-defense moves. Preparing yourself for a potential attack allows you to react better when faced with the fear and stress of the situation.
Move with confidence. Someone who looks purposeful and physically capable is a less appealing target.
Confront a pursuer. If you know that someone is following you, turn and ask them the time. Get a good look at their face and overall appearance. Attackers prefer to target victims who haven’t seen their face.
Struggle and yell if attacked.
Understand that rape isn’t just committed by strangers, but by friends, relatives, and even colleagues, as well. Often victims will know and possibly trust their rapist prior to the offense.
The internet has brought new ways for people to have fun – including sexy fun. Cyber sex can be safer for health than real-life sex but there are other dangers you need to think about.
What is cyber sex?
Cyber sex means using text messages, internet chat rooms, email or instant messaging to exchange sexy chat with another person.
It could be your regular partner or someone you’ve met online. It can involve only talking or flirting or partners can masturbate during a cyber sex exchange.
Some people only use text, others will take pictures or videos of themselves.
It’s all about painting pictures in the other person’s mind and responding in a sexy way to the things they send to you.
What are the risks from cyber sex?
Although there’s no risk of sexually transmitted infections, there are other risks from cyber sex.
If you send someone sexy messages, pictures or videos then they are no longer in your control, and you can never know what someone will do with it. Someone could make it public. This could be highly embarrassing and damage your other relationships. You might feel like you know and trust someone but things can change and they could always use the material against you in the future.
If you’re under 18, anyone caught with sexy images of you could be prosecuted as a pedophile.
If you’re ‘cybering’ (having cyber sex) with someone other than your regular partner, it could change your feelings towards them. You may feel guilty – the emotions involved in cyber sex are just as real as with any other kind of sex. If they find out, they could feel hurt and betrayed.
Worst of all, people might not be who they say they are on the internet. Sometimes adults go online to chat rooms or social networking sites pretending to be someone else. They do this so that they can meet young people. They might ask personal questions or try to persuade them to do things sexually for them. Someone you meet online could track you down in the real world. It’s hard to judge age or character over the internet – they could turn out to be nasty. If you’re caught with nude pictures of anyone under 18, you could be prosecuted and end up on the sex offenders register.
How can I make cyber sex less risky?
There are some easy ways to reduce the risks from cyber sex.
First, don’t have cyber sex with anyone you don’t know personally. Cyber sex with someone you know could still be risky though because you don’t know how they might use the sexy messages, pictures or videos in the future.
Second, never give out personal details or information about yourself to someone you don’t know personally. You never know who the other person might be or how they might be using that information.
Third, it’s a good idea to delete any sexy messages from your phone and computer quickly, including from any online accounts. Phones and laptops get lost and stolen all the time (there are nosey people around too).
To avoid trouble with the law – including getting your partner in trouble – don’t send nude pictures or video of yourself until you’re over 18.
Talking To your parents about your sex life is possibly one of the most embarrassing things a person can experience. Yet, it is this kind of openness and honesty that can strengthen your relationship with your parents and lead to a healthier home life. Being open with your parents about your sex life is likely to foster greater trust and responsibility.
Be strong. Be brave and don’t lie about sex when talking to your parent.
Try not to seem embarrassed. Remember, you haven’t done anything wrong.
Say everything succinctly but without going into detail. If you do go to details you will/might get embarrass. But if you do want/get to details just stay calm and its normal to talk about it.
Avoid using innuendos, slang and sarcasm. If you do your parent’s will think you are just joking.
Talk to your parents when they are in a good mood. This is a great time to talk to your parents. Hence, avoid week days.
Don’t go too far.