Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are acquainted with important people who may contribute to their future careers. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to “self-discovery.”
Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you’re in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don’t have anything to say at the moment).
Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don’t try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it – you never know what might happen. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.
Try not to be defensive over something that is possibly your own issue. For example, don’t shout, “Why are you so prejudiced?” or “Why don’t you like women?” when due to past situations you may just be overly sensitive. Try to always believe the best of others and give them the benefit of the doubt that can go a long way in getting to know the real person. If it turns out they are a bigot, then move on to befriend the next person and don’t waste any more energy. It may take a few tries to find friends that “click.” And anyway, if you’re arguing with someone about something stupid such as shoes, drop it. Try to get out of arguments that are dumb. If you’re arguing because you were sticking up for your friend such as something like someone was making fun of her and you were trying to stand up for her, then I completely understand.
Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more, because they will not trust you anymore.
Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same.
Build confidence. Try to get younger friends if you are in middle school. Hanging out with kids a year or two younger than you will help build confidence, which will help you with kids around your own age. I know, no one wants to hang out with the 10 year old next door. But i promise just hang out and talk to them and your confidence will skyrocket!
Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don’t over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.
A pendulum has to swing in the opposite direction before it lands in the middle, so if you have too much of a problem over-thinking things, first let go of it allowing for errors or failed attempts — and let yourself say things that could be taken the wrong way (be inaccurate) until you get the hang of it, and then learn how to “filter” out those errant efforts at conversing and associating for fun and friend.
Find people who share your interests. Get up, move and join a group of classmates that has similar interests whether at lunch or at a party. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends. And it’s fine if your friends don’t have much in common with you as long as you both are happy and comfortable. If they judge/don’t approve of something you do, they aren’t friends…